


Singles Week

by Five678Patty



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Boys In Love, Christmas carol, Declarations Of Love, Episode Related, Episode: s04e12 Singles Week, Jingle Bells, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27707740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Five678Patty/pseuds/Five678Patty
Summary: A retelling of Singles Week… to the tune of Jingle Bells.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 86
Kudos: 75
Collections: Schitt's Creek: Frozen Over (2020)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [SCFrozenOver2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SCFrozenOver2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**  
>    
> Holiday Carols, but make them Schitt’s Creek!  
> Alter the lyrics of popular Holiday Carols to suit the holidays/David and Patrick/some of the many quirky townsfolk. You could even use Simply the Best or Mariah Carey (Christmas album or otherwise) for inspiration! Maybe it's your take on David and Moira's Christmas/Asbestos Fest **"Number."** You could have fun with it and even turn it into something ridiculous that Patrick does to troll David. 
> 
> With so many amazing musicians in the fandom, it would be super fun if you'd like to make music, or sing, and record! Maybe it's an _Original Song!_ Maybe there's art work! Do it solo or make it a Collaboration! Have fun!
> 
> __________
> 
> This work is presented as two chapters. The first chapter is the sheet music (in G major for piano) with accompanying lyrics. The second chapter is just the lyrics in an easier to read text-only format. I've rated this little ditty T for language as I drop an eff bomb in the final verse. Profanity aside, this is really a G rated fic at heart.
> 
> If you're reading this on your phone, I'd suggest viewing chapter 1 in a landscape format and chapter 2 in portrait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big ol' thanks to James Lord Pierpont who penned Jingle Bells back in 1857. It is in the public domain these days and I take no credit for the music. I did, however, have a lot of fun trying to make my words fit into the framework he provided. This was achieved in part by repeatedly listening to instrumental versions of the song on YouTube as I sang along, off-key, and made adjustment to my words where necessary. 
> 
> A printable PDF of the sheet music is available [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Bz06x-e7c_9wezd-o8mVZOXt0eLHBvga/view?usp=sharing).


	2. Chapter 2

Dashing through the door  
In a pair of Rick Owens shoes  
Over the hardwood floor  
Awkward are his moves  
Box in arms askew  
Making Patrick smile  
What fun it is to voice his love  
To this man he loves to rile

  
Singles week, singles week  
Single never more!  
Now that they’ve declared their love  
In each other’s heart they’re sure  
Singles week, singles week  
Single never more!  
Now that they’ve declared their love  
In each other’s heart they’re sure

  
A year or two ago  
His fortunes they did change  
When in walked a man who  
Wore denim that’s mid-range  
Misfortune seemed his lot  
Until that fateful day  
When Rose Apothecary got  
Its new pretentious name

  
Singles week, singles week  
Single never more!  
Now that they’ve declared their love  
In each other’s heart they’re sure  
Singles week, singles week  
Single never more!  
Now that they’ve declared their love  
In each other’s heart they’re sure

  
Before his butter-voiced beau  
His insides, they were roasted  
Burnt like a marshmallow  
Always getting ghosted;  
But sometimes it works out  
A dawning realization  
That David has no doubts about  
His love’s reciprocation

  
Singles week, singles week  
Single never more!  
Now that they’ve declared their love  
In each other’s heart they’re sure  
Singles week, singles week  
Single never more!  
Now that they’ve declared their love  
In each other’s heart they’re sure

  
The moment was perfect  
Just kinda like a dream  
Except in one respect  
Patrick’s missing tea  
He says it’s just a joke  
Nothing that he needs  
The hands on Patrick’s shoulders stop  
And fuck! He’ll get the tea

  
Singles week, singles week  
Single never more!  
Now that they’ve declared their love  
In each other’s heart they’re sure  
Singles week, singles week  
Single never more!  
Now that they’ve declared their love  
In each other’s heart they’re sure

**Author's Note:**

> A big thanks to my ever-patient beta, Pants, who I made read this thing more times than its 200ish unique words actually merited. Let's be real, even if I only made her read it once, it would have been more times than necessary because who actually needs a beta for 200 words? (Hint. It's me.)
> 
> So, yeah. She's the best. Thanks for putting up with me.


End file.
